The list of non-school related things I want to do but can't is way too long. I need a free day to work on my computer build, a day to apply for internships, some time to work out, some time to fix my phone's SD card, some time to catch up on sleep, some time to spend with my girlfriend and friends, and maybe even some time to play video games. There's no end in sight, I want some free time here at Brockport before the semester is over! It feels like I can't enjoy any of the great aspects of the college lifestyle because I have so much work to do. This lifestyle feels crazy, but I'm sure everyone else is going through the same thing as me. Its just life I guess.

Now that I've vented a little bit, I'd like to mention a few things about the response paper we got back today. Reading through it again, I was reminded of its imperfections and poorly explained areas. The thing I wish I could change the most would be shifting the focus of the paper to include discussion of both males and females. The paper was mostly describing my (often narrow and ignorant) view of girls over the years, my observations and then my coming to understand the reasons behind what I observed. I talked about all of the patterns and trends I saw in the girls I grew up around, but I failed to mention the guys. There are a few reasons for this, the first being that I saw so much more diversity in the guys at my school than in the girls. I felt that the boys in my high school were far more individualistic than the girls. Another reason is that I simply didn't pay as much attention to guys as I did girls. Guys made more sense to me and I wasn't as interested in them. I wrote the paper before I had really given much thought to the stereotypes and trends among guys. Tough guise 2 really opened my eyes to the how comparable the problems faced by men are to those faced by women, and if I remember correctly, we hadn't watched Katz's film before writing the response paper. After watching Tough guise 2 I was significantly more aware of the issues faced by males, but before seeing the film, I had barely given it any thought because, in my experience, I wasn't expected to be anything other than myself. I have always felt pretty accepted just being me, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Internet Cravings

I have a handful of mental disorders, and among them is a pretty strong case of ADHD. My ADHD loves the internet, it loves instant gratification, and it loves thinking of the most interesting things in the world to Google while I'm trying to do homework. Even when I'm medicated and not super influenced by my ADHD, I've realized that I constantly have cravings to Google things. Throughout an average day, there are tons of things I want to look up. Sometimes it's answers to questions, sometimes it's historical facts, sometimes it's just that I really really really want to look at some cool sound system setups, and sometimes I need to prove to someone that I'm right. Whatever the case, if I don't have my phone with me and my itch can't be scratched, it's really irritating. Not day-ruining, but probably more of an issue than it should be. On the one hand, I'm addicted to my phone, but on the other hand, at least I'm fully appreciating the technology I have that many others never had access too. I have learned so much from the internet, and although it has it's downsides, I'm grateful for it.

Tough Guise 2

A number of thoughts/ideas went through my head whilst viewing "Tough Guise 2," but one of concepts that stuck out the most to me is the way that the film made me feel bad for men in a similar way that "killing us softly" made me feel awful for women. I guess what "Tough Guise" demonstrated is that society and culture are negatively effecting both men and women alike. Personally, I've never had a problem with just being myself and doing whatever I want. I almost never have a problem with the fact that I don't play any sports. I am a little ashamed that I don't know anything about hardly any of them; I find most sports pretty confusing. I understand the mechanics of football, but when things get real technical I'm useless. It's nice that I don't feel hardly any pressure from society to change, to go out of my way to learn all that stuff just to fit in. I can't know for sure, but I feel like girls face larger consequences for deviating from the norm.